Anxiety and The Transition into Parenthood: Rite of Passage or Preventable?

Anxiety in parenthood is neither avoidable nor is it something we must fully accept as "normal." The goal is to use anxiety to our advantage and mitigate it such that it doesn't begin to cause us problems. Expecting and postpartum parents oftentimes find themsleves in unique state of anxiety. Pregnancy and postpartum experience brings about an enormous amount of changes, and all mothers as well as fathers and other non-birthing partners experience a range of reactions. Here, we will focus primarily on the experience of anxiety related to the perinatal period. Note that much of what I share comes from data on women who are pregnant or have given birth, but these experiences likely generalize to other birthing parents and, in some cases the non-birthing partner (e.g., fathers or female or nobinary partners).

Pregnancy changes the brain and for good reason. Let's talk about pregnancy. While you are noticing your baby bump growing, other hidden changes are happening throughout your body, including within your brain! During pregnancy, grey matter shrinks in certain areas of the brain. Grey matter is the brain tissue that helps with processing information and is important for emotion, memory, and movement. Scientists believe that grey matter shrinks in certain parts of the brain during pregnancy to help individuals respond more to social cues. That is, the brain may be preparing you to respond better to the baby's needs and be more aware of threats to the baby's safety.

A study supported this by comparing brain images of first-time pregnant women to first-time fathers and women who have never been pregnant. Changes were observed in areas that serve to read social cues and attend to threats (Hoekzema et al., 2016). These changes remained two years later and were associated with positive attachment between mother and child. This also occurred for parents conceiving via IVF.

So, when you feel like you've lost your head during and after pregnancy, be gentle with yourself. Know that some of this is to be expected and means that your brain is doing what brains do: it's trying to prepare you for the enormous feat of raising a child. While this can be expected or common, it doesn't mean that you have to "just deal with it." If this increase in vigilance or anxiety is impacting your well-being and ability to care for your child, it is important to reach out for some additional support to help reduce this anxiety. Therapy and medication options are available to help you reduce the impact of anxiety on your well-being.

Here are some signs that you should consider seeking professional support for your perinatal anxiety:

• panic attacks (increased heart rate, fears of dying/"going crazy", hyperventilating, racing thoughts, extreme tearfulness)

• inability to sleep (when baby is sleeping)

• checking things recurrently, recurrent thoughts/images/impulses that are upsetting, restlessness

• being on edge

• feeling irritable

• inability to leave the baby alone with another trusted caregiver

  If you are experiencing these symptoms, you are not alone. You are likely among the 1 to 2 in 10 individuals who experience this after childbirth. Contact us if you wish to discuss postpartum anxiety, or find another trained professional via postpartum.net.